Friends? Hell no, they're just acquaintances! But...

Friends? Hell no, they're just acquaintances! But...

The Rant
Wow, the world can be a cold place. And I'm not just talking about the temperature.

I'm talking about how the hearts of some people can be so cold. How the words 'friends' can sometimes be so loosely spoken, or termed. Friendships are weak nowadays, there's no basic respect, there's no love between the two, but yet you call yourself friends.

You see, I'm writing this because I operate in a very different way. I don't term my friends loosely, I really mean it when I say they're friends. If not, I rather use the word, acquaintance, in an extremely polite way.

How does someone sit through another person's grumbles, listening to them, care for them, show support for them and encourage them all the time if you don't really care for them to some extent?

That's right, you can't, can you? There are tons of other things to do with your precious time, but alas you've used it on someone you call a 'friend'.

I wonder if people take that action as a sign of being a busybody (a.k.a kaypo) or actually realise that the other party at the receiving end of your emotional brokenness actually cares for you to some extent that they'll waste their time to sit through your emotional crap.

You see, again, when I truly treat you as a friend, that's really what I'd do for you. I'd spend time listening to you, I'd give you advice if I know you're up for it, I'd tell you the truth anyway even if it hurts.

Well, the only truth I learnt was how you 'told me' that neither me nor my friendship mattered to you.

Especially when I needed support, I needed you to be there to listen and I asked you for that but you poured cold water down on my emotional being. The cold droplets still trickling down my heart as I stand there thinking, 'wait, what just happened? I thought.. we were friends?'

The Realisation Sets In
We're not friends. We're acquaintances. That person has not cared for me like I did unto that person.

As the truth finally sets in, a cold breeze chills my heart and I'm like, wow, that kinda hurts like a bitch. it hurts, but I choose the way I react. I just replied, 'Ok, that's fine.' I don't impose on your wishes.

Well, some people tell me to confront that friend, but you see, is there a point? You can tell your friend that you're feeling hurt, but you see, that'll just be me forcing my expectations on that person.

As friends, I thought that was just a basic requirement, but I realised that that person has a different way of defining a friendship. For me, that didn't reach my level of expectation as a friend.

I definitely do feel lonely though, whenever my friends don't seem to reach my expectations. Doesn't everybody have these feelings too, once in a while?

The Thoughts That Come After...
Let's take a moment to be real here.

The world, being a fallen one, are chasing after the 'Good Vibes Only' phenomenon.

People of today shun negativity. They've had enough. Their excuse is that it'll affect them, it's not what they need to end the day on a good note. They're fearful.

People desperately seek to create this falsified view of the world because there is something lacking in their hearts, the emptiness and the void that they are struggling to seal away.

The one too many lessons of life they hear are 'you'll reap what you sow', but often than not, that teaching and way of life encourages disappointments because if you think you sow kindness, you'll reap kindness. Yes, I have been brought up that way too, hence I've been affected by this ridiculous teaching.

We need to know that 'Reaping what you sow' is just not going to happen. We need to realise that we cannot force our expectations on someone else, because that's going to just hurt both parties.

But as human, we are frail in that aspect. We own higher expectations of those whom are close to our hearts: our family members, our boyfriends / girlfriends, husband / wife, our kids, our best friends.

We expect them to know how to react to us, and give us a result that matches with our expectations, but when that result falls way below our expectations, that's when it truly hurts us.

Acceptance should come from within. But social media distorts that all. So many negative messages disguise themselves as 'Good Vibes Only' posts.

What do you use social media for?

For me, it's simple. You see, you never know when your encouragement for other people will turn their life around. Yes, I can't help feeling affected by that friend, but I recognise that the person who hurt me exercised my heart and made me stronger. It hit me that even as you treat another person nice, you can't expect them to return the feelings in the same level as what you give unto them.

Also, I no longer term the person a friend, but an acquaintance. But if that acquaintance needs a listening ear, I will still give it, because I guess we all need a few more 'idiots' in the world who plays the role of a support beam in others' lives, don't you think?

One day, when I pass on, I hope for people to remember me as someone who supported them through their lives, someone who was once there for them, and that they can also be someone like that to someone else.

Grace, a girl that I got to know recently, has this beautiful thing to say that I really just want to share with you guys because I believe more people need to read this. So, here it is:

"Have you ever done something nice for someone and anticipated for the recognition to come with it but it just never came? That it left you feeling all hurt and upset and you start wondering what's the point in doing good when no one notices nor appreciates what you've done? 

Well, I'm here today to tell you that, as humans, we fail. When we start to feed upon the flesh and the things of this earth to satisfy us, we will never be satisfied no matter how far we've gone. One day, you and I, will perish. And when we do, we can't take the worldly things with us, but we can leave memories of how we were as people, as humans, how we treated one another, how we gave love unconditionally without expecting anything in return. 

How wonderful would that be when all of us start giving just because we want to and we can. It is easy to forget how a small gesture of kindness like asking how someone is, can actually stop someone from ending their life. As dramatic as it sounds, it is true for most cases. So many voices wanting to be heard but got left forgotten because everyone around them is climbing high up a mountain and high on life that they neglected their peers who've helped pushed them to the top."

Believe it or not, how I operate in life is simple. When a person comes across my mind, I text them, asking how they're doing, how's their day going? I don't just use my mobile to check lame social media stuff, blocking people who have negative vibes and only going for #GoodVibesOnly posts.

Whenever I see someone posting sad stuff or depressing stuff about their lives or their day, I always take time to ask them how they are. Even if they are attention seekers, I rather give them the attention than to miss out on the time which they could really need it.

The world needs a refreshed touch of kindness, and with the digital technology nowadays, it's easier than not to send a message of kindness and concern across.

Question is, would you? I hope you would, because you just never know who you manage to pull out of an emotional ditch and help turn their lives around... yes, it can be just as simple as through a text message.

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